How to get to know someone..

I believe crucial conversations shape and change the world. Meaningful and deep conversations can transform and change lives. Board meetings can be filled with conversations that change the world. It's the most basic way in which people relate and communicate with each other. Governance is only as good as its governors. You do governing by having conversations with each other. But how are you in the conversations? Is your voice generating a vibe that is creating value for your organization?

Getting to know someone can be an intimidating process. So how do we go about doing it right? Your body language, responses, your choice of words, tone and questions in the initial stage of a conversation will form an impression that could be either positive or negative lasting impression. Your skills in getting to know people successfully will directly impact the outcome of your job interviews, business deals, dating relationships, and important client or principal meetings. We can all improve our conversation skills to achieve our personal and business goals.

Conversation is a DANCE of two. Conversation is about talking but talking doesn't make a conversation. Conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue. You share the talking time; you also listen and acknowledge. The ability to converse well and to hold a conversation skillfully will be your magic ingredient for your well-being, success in relationship and business, as well as happiness, in many area of your life. In relationship, how you engage in a conversation makes a profound difference to the quality of your connection with another person. It is the basis of building new relationships and making new friends. 

Small Talk vs. Conversation:

The best conversations are like a river- they flow along, even if there are few bumps and turns along the way. It takes some practice and finesse to drive a balanced conversation. Small talk, while necessary in many situations, may not actually help you to get to know someone. It serves as a good starter for a conversation, and to hold a conversation to different levels. Once you master the art of small talk, you find yourself able to deal with common difficulties. It is a valuable skill to master for disagreeing with people without losing connection, and for comforting others when necessary. You might find yourself having to handle difficult conversation in a conflict situation.

Business Conversation vs Conversations that changed the world

In business situations, you might find yourself having to have conversations with the media that can change the public image of you and your company. There are many great conversations that changed history and changed the world, and there are conversations that can change your world. At the end of each board meeting, ask this question, "What was most valuable about this meeting for the organization?" and "What could we have done differently to improve that?"  Go around the table and give everyone an opportunity to speak, but don't force them to. Make the process voluntary , not mandatory. 

Questions drive conversations

Asking questions show your .conversation partner that you are interested in them as a person. The right tone and choice of words help draw out the person and introduction engaging and meaningful, rather than superficial without force participation from either party. Human have a unique and beautiful way of communicating with one another. That is why Albert Mehrabian, a psychologist developed a communication model in which he demonstrated that only 7 percent of what we communicate consists of the literal content of the message. The use of one's voice (tone, intonation and volume) take up 38 percent and as much as 55 percent of communication consists of body language. Asking questions like "who, where, how, what" can open and carry an interesting conversation, that will leave you far better acquainted with a new friend of business contact, rather than just small talk all the time. 

The Art of Conversation is not just about you, it's getting to know the other person.

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About the author: Teresa Dian Chew, Principal of 'Institute Casere' of Poise and Diplomacy

Teresa is a well respected international award-winning Image Consultant, and a Strategist with 15 years of experiences in the industry, and she has trained, coached, mentored and consulted via the Elite Finishing School Concept for Leaders, Diplomats, Politicians, and across Industries on Poise, Eloquence, Diplomacy, Protocol, Etiquette, Dressing, Personal Style, Colours, Personality Enhancement, Cultural Diversity and Brand Management for Sustainability and Success, with the ultimate goal to build TRUST and Confidence.

She is also the author of a ground-breaking Image Refinement book 'The Image Factor" to empower and entertain its target audience. 

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